All posts by zombie71

I feel like I've lived an interesting life and I'd like to share my experiences .

Broken

As a product of a broken home, a failed marriage, is it at all surprising that I find myself divorced and broken in spirit at the age of 40? Well if you believe in facts, and I do, then its no mystery why so many children of divorce find themselves repeating the mistakes of their parents. I’m a father of 2 wonderful children who keep me felling young and full of life, but at the same time reminding me that I’m a failure at the one thing I wanted to be really good at, being a husband, loving and taking care of my wife and family. It’s easy to look back and think about how you would do things differently and that’s healthy as long as it’s only to learn from your mistakes, not to dwell on them and beat yourself up about it. The harder thing to do is look forward and try to imagine myself starting a new relationship. When your young life is all in front of you, when you meet someone it’s all new it feels great. When your 40 and you meet someone it’s all about the baggage. How honest should I be? Do I talk about the ex? Do I really have to listen to her talk about her ex or ex’s ? There is so much stuff to deal with that the spontaneity gets lost. Being a father and a guy in general I want to fix everybody’s problems but at 40 we are all pretty messed up. The truth is I just want my mommy and daddy back, I want to fix my broken home but the reality is I can’t. Now the real work begins how do I try to insure that my children aren’t doomed to the same fate? Maybe marriage is a failed experiment? Maybe we weren’t meant to stay with one person our whole lives? The thing is for me I can’t imagine anything more fulfilling than a life spent in the arms of someone you truly love. Yes I’m broken at 40, but still cautiously optimistic about the future.

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Thanks dad

My dad taught me how to brush my teeth, how to dry myself off when I took a bath, how to shake a man’s hand. He would have, had he had it his way, also taught me to be a racist. I’m not sure if he knew he was a bigot. My guess is he did, he was a very smart man. The fact that he was so smart makes the racism all that more confusing. I would like to think all racist’s are ignorant, but my dad taught me that’s not true. My dad would watch television with me as a kid, his favorite show every week was ” soul train” he would watch it and make racist comments about the people dancing on the show. This didn’t have the effect on me that he intended. I became a huge fan of the music, the first album ( that’s how old I am an actual album ) that I bought was Michael Jackson’s thriller. I still know every word to every song because I played it over and over again. I learned that I like people who are different than me, I don’t judge people. I try to get to know somebody before I decide if I like them or not. I believe had I not had the experience with my dad as a kid I wouldn’t be who I am. I guess my dad was taught to be a racist. Strangely his best friend was an African American. I herd him asked about that and he would always answer the same way, ” he’s one of the good ones “. That statement always makes me cringe. I can with a heart full of love for my old man thank him for teaching me that racism is wrong even if it’s not what he intended. I can also say proudly that the cycle of racism is dead in my family it ended with my dad. Happy fathers day to all dads, you teach us more than you know.

The best things are free

Often in my life I’ve felt that I’ve overpaid for things. I’ve spent thousands of dollars for car insurance over the course of my life, and I’ve never received a penny back. So with this in mind I must admit I feel like a thief in the night. I’ve just witnessed some of the greatest sports entertainment of my life, all for free. The NBA playoffs. This was a great playoff run. Basketball is young man’s game and this year we saw that on display. With teams like the Memphis Grizzlies and Atlanta Hawks bringing new blood to the playoffs, and the recent champions losing early, it made for an interesting post season. The finals were the icing on an already delicious cake. The Dallas Mavericks paid their dues they have been a very good team for along time, but never quite good enough until this year. They played much better when the games were on the line and I believe it was game planing and defense. Coach Rick Carlise was clearly the better coach in this series. He’s knows a little something about paying dues as well having bounced around the league for a couple of years. Carlise has mellowed over the years and it suits him and his veteran team very well. Time and time again we saw shots of Eric Spoelstra looking a little bewildered followed by a shot of Carlise just coaching like he’s seen it all before, which he has. Yes basketball is a young “man’s” game. The more mature team full of grown men are the champions and the Miami Heat are a much better team after having played them. I have very little doubt the heat will be back in the finals very soon. And they will be a much more experienced battle tested team, that’s what paying your dues is all about. I’m just glad to have witnessed it all, it was great and had the television screen went blank at any point, and a message scrolled across the screen that read “if you want to see the rest of this game it will cost you”. I would have gladly paid.

Best of 3

If you haven’t been watching the NBA finals, them flip over the rock you’ve been living under and tune in. I’m a life long NBA fan. I watched my beloved Washington Bullets win their one and only title when I was seven years old and I’ve been hooked ever since. I picked the Dallas Mavericks to win the title, and I still believe they will. If you have been watching these finals you’ve seen one of the greatest individual performances in the history of the finals. Dwayne Wade is as awesome a one on one player as I’ve ever seen. Nobody can guard him. He can shoot, drive, pass, post up, run pick n roll whatever you want and do it all beautifully. The only answer that Dallas has had is the zone defense. And they are smart about how they use it. They pick spots, they let the heat get comfortable and then in the forth quarter when the game is on the line they go to the zone. And what about Dirk I can’t say his game four performance was ” Jordan like ” but the story of the the one hundred two degree temperature and him coming alive at the end of the game was something I’ll tell my kids about. This series reminds me of the great Lakers, celtics series of the 80′s. Kareem, Magic, Bird, McHale. Whoever wins the championship this year will deserve it every game has been tough. Lebron James was crowned a king in high school but in this series he’s probably the forth best player on the court behind Wade, Dirk, and Bosh. But the fat lady hasn’t even come out of her dressing room yet. There are three games left so don’t miss em, history is being made and it is being televised.

It’s gonna be sweet

Without any doubt the NFL lockout will end. We don’t know when, but we know there is way too much money on the table for all these very rich guys to walk away. I herd a really smart NFL analyst say at the start of the lockout that this won’t end until the loss of money is threatened. We are not at that point yet but it’s coming soon. The sad part about all of this is when it does end we will all feel so good about the start of football that we will forget all the back and forth, all the shots of NFL players in suits attending court proceedings. We will forget about the judges, the decertification of the union. The real losers in all of this are the undrafted players who would normally be in mini-camps trying to impress coaches and possibly make a team. We may lose a few guys that would have otherwise made teams. We don’t know what the new rules will be, but do we really care? We want football. Ravens, Steelers. Cowboys, Redskins. Jets, Patriots. Yes much like an abused spouse or a kicked dog. We have been used and neglected as fans but as soon as the millionaires and billionaires tell us we are allowed to start giving them our money again we will be all to happy to do it. It’s sad to say, but I love football and I can’t wait for it all to be over, so in a couple of years we can do it all over again. You will hear as the negotiation continues about which side has more ” leverage “. But in late October on an awesome fall day we will all be watching the game we love and everybody knows it, that’s the true ” leverage ” in all of this our undying love for the sport of professional football, oh yes how sweet it is.

Champion

There will be a new champion crowned in the NBA soon. The Dallas Mavericks with their brash, celebrity owner Mark Cuban, who looks more comfortable with the microphone in his hands taking praise for his teams victory than he does in his way to tight t-shirts. Will play the Miami Heat who’s celebrity’s are on the floor playing, unless you count Pat Riley watching over them like a buzzard on a branch waiting to pick apart whatever remains are left on the floor. The Heat were assembled in the off-season we all know the story. The Mavericks have had their core of guys together for a while. They have been coached since 2008 by Rick Carlisle who won an NBA title as a player with the Boston Celtics. But as a coach, has not been able to translate very good regular season records into playoff series wins. That is until this year, the Mavs are 8-1 including a 4-0 sweep of last years champs the Lakers. The Heat are coached by Eric Spoelstra. Who? If he’s the coach why does the camera always seem to find Riley? We all know about the Heats “talents” but are they a team? When things got tough against the bulls the heat looked out of sorts. They had more “talent” than Chicago and that showed in the end. That won’t be the case against Dallas. The Mavs are big, three seven footers. And they can score in bunches. They also have shown as have the Heat to be fair an ability to come from behind. Championships are not given away, they are won. The team who commits to playing team defense I believe will be our new NBA champions, and I believe it will be the Dallas Mavericks.

Summertime

Memorial day, the official start of summer. So bring it on, the beach, the water parks, the smile of A pretty girl. It’s that special magic of summer everybody is out and about looking to meet someone new. The idea of new love. Maybe today I’ll meet the woman of my dreams, or at the very least a girl I can make some new summertime memories with. But it’s more that that, it’s the smell of fresh cut grass, the convertible cars, the ice cream shops. Summer in America is awesome. We have everything to make having fun possible. But the truth is the most fun I ever had was catching fireflies in the back yard when I was a kid. I thought the whole world was in my back yard the stars were so bright the air was warm and I didn’t have to go to bed early for school. I would give any amount of money for just one more summer as a kid. One more day with my best friend Neal riding our bikes. One more night at Ricky’s house eating his mom’s cookies. One more summer with my big brother who passed away. Summer is about memories, so let’s go make some new ones. Have a great summer everybody.

The Power Of A Word

What power does a word carry? Is there a word or words that you are offended by? The freedom of speech is what separates America from other countries, the ability to say whatever you want, whenever you want & whatever you believe is guaranteed to you, but is there a line? Should there be? Are certain words so offensive that they carry more weight? Twice this season in the NBA homophobic slurs were used. Once by Kobe Bryant, directed towards a referee & once in the Eastern Conference Finals by Joakim Noah at a fan.

While I am a gay rights supporter, I’m also a supporter of freedom of speech even offensive speech I disagree with. I understand these gentleman were working at the time, so their employers have the right to discipline them but shouldn’t we use these instances as learning opportunities ? Lets try to get to the root cause of the problem, young men in competitive environments use homophobic slurs to disrespect their opponents, any guy who has ever played a sport knows I’m right. We need to educate our children at a young age that there is nothing wrong with being gay. If we teach our children that it’s not an insult to call someone gay we can help to stop this cycle of hate. Take the power out of the word don’t empower the word by making it off limits. A perfect example of this is the use of the “N word ” by young hip-hop artists. By taking ownership of the word instead of hiding the word they have in effect taken some of the sting out of it’s use. Obviously since I’m not using the word not all of the sting is removed but my point is censorship is never good even if it’s done for the right reason.

Hypocrisy

Hypocrisy is the state of pretending to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have. Hypocrisy involves the deception of others and is thus a kind of lie. As a country we pretend to be against drugs, gambling, and prostitution. Yet a recent study by the DEA found roughly seven million Americans are abusing prescription drugs. If accurate, that would be an increase of 80 percent in six years and more than the total abusing cocaine, heroin, hallucinogens, Ecstasy and inhalants. Yet we will spend at least 50 billion dollars this year alone to fight illegal drugs. Meanwhile giving pharmaceutical companies huge subsidies which they spend on advertising. Gambling is illegal in most places except for the state sponsored lotteries, as long as you gamble your money with the state it’s ok. Prostitution is illegal almost everywhere, unless you agree to enter into a long term contract (i.e. Marriage). Then it’s fine to exchange sex for money, but if I want to enter into a short term lease then I’m a criminal.

The Lottery

I’m always amazed when I go to my local convenience store and see the line of people waiting to buy lottery tickets. I’m not comfortable making judgements about people but most of these people don’t seem to me to be rich. They seem like hard-working people who probably don’t have a lot of money, dreaming they will one day be rich. Ok not a great revaluation there but my point is rich people don’t buy lottery tickets. Maybe if you wanna be like somebody you should start by acting like them. Save your money and invest it in something you believe in. The richest people I know spend the least amount of money. Yet the poorest people I know spend money like crazy. Eating out all the time, smoking cigarettes, buying expensive prepackaged processed food, buying lottery tickets. Doesn’t it make sense that if you spend less you’ll have more. Trust me your not gonna be the next lottery millionaire. In your whole life have you ever met a lottery millionaire? I guess the only good thing about the lottery in my state of Virginia is all of the lottery profits go to schools. About 436 million a year, sounds like a lot until you hear the total state school budget for the year is 5.5 billion. Politicians always say people can spend their own money better than government but they are strangely silent on the lottery issue.